Jokes

Here is a buncha jokes in random order.

Pet Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink. While he’s drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over, grabs some olives off the bar, eats them, grabs some sliced limes, eats them, jumps up on the pool table, grabs a cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows […]

Starter Pistol

I just heard some people at the track got shot with a starter pistol! Police say it’s race related.

Dentist

What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea? Denis.

Stop Sign

A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer.  ​The officer asks the lawyer “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “I haven’t the foggiest idea,” said the lawyer. The officer replied, “You didn’t make a full stop at the stop sign back there. You only slowed down.” The lawyer thinks for a few […]

Religion

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.

Fish Headache

What did the fish say after he swam into a concrete wall? Dam!

Crash position

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. It’s how I roll 😎

Bears

​What do you call bears with no ears? B

Whorehouse

What do you call children born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.

Language

What is the least spoken language in history? Sign language.