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Jokes

Santa

Why doesn’t Santa have any children?

He only comes down the chimney!

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Jokes

Snowman

Why did the snowman drop his pants?

He heard a snowblower coming!

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Jokes

Little Blue Pill

My wife asked me to bring home some of those pills to help give me an erection. I brought her some diet pills.

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Jokes

Discount

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

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Jokes

Hippo and Zippo

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.

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Jokes

Favorite Things

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

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Jokes

Drug Store

Guy goes to the drugstore to buy a pack of rubbers. After paying for them, the cashier asks if he wants a bag.

The man says “Jeez that’s rude! These not that ugly!”

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Jokes

Dating the mailman

“Mom, I’m dating someone new.”

“Whom, sweetheart?”

“Mike the mailman.”

“Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!”

“But mom, age is just a number.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand….”​

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Jokes

Pedestrian

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”

Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

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Jokes

Elephant

What is the difference between an Indian and African elephant?

One of them is an Indian.