I called a couple people hipsters and they got mad at me. They like to be called conjoined twins instead.
There are 6.02×10^23 guacas in a guacamole. That is Avacados Number.
What do you call a hippie’s wide?
Today I changed a lightbulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is such a joke.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his private parts on glitter?
It’s pretty nuts!
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
It’s how I roll 😎
If you want to give a friend a gift he is sure to love, give him a refrigerator and watch his face light up when he opens it.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic.
What is the least spoken language in history?
Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
He only comes down the chimney!