What’s the difference between an onion and a hooker? I don’t cry when I’m cutting up the hooker.
My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
Such a great song. “Singers” today should take a lesson from these old timers. No auto tune used to make him sound good. No sampling of music. Just a dude that can sing and play guitar.
I guess I should expect a food named “Honey Nut Cheerios” to contain “Natural Almond Flavor” and actual nuts. But whodathunk that natural almond flavor is made from peach pits.
Most “natural almond flavor” comes from the pits of peaches and apricots, which are a waste product when those fruits get processed. Peaches and apricots are relatives of almonds, and some people who are allergic to almonds are also allergic to these fruits.
I got my kid a puppy for a present, but it died before Christmas.
No I am stuck taking care of a puppy 🙁
That’s a nice ham you have there. It would be a shame if somebody put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end.
I must try this *drool*
You know that scene in the movie where the nerdy hero or heroine finds inner confidence and suddenly becomes much more interesting and much more attractive to the rest of the world? That hero is beef stew and its time for confidence is now. The beef stew of my dreams starts with large tender, juicy chunks of beef coated in a sauce that is rich and intense but not heavy or muddy (and that sauce had better be clean and glistening). It has vegetables that are more than just filler, but bring a complementary texture and flavor to the party. After dozens of pounds of stewed beef and scores of experiments, we’ve got the recipe.
She is really bad ass!